Skip to main content

#4 - Git yer doodle out of my field!

This is what I imagine pitchfork wielding farmers are yelling into the sky after waking to find that their wheat fields have been vandalized by unearthly visitors. Crop circles first began appearing in the media in the mid 1970's when crude circles were found in farmer's fields in Southern England. These circles were a mystery until Doug Bower and Dave Chorley admitted to making the circles as a hoax. Since then, circles and other increasingly complex designs have been mysteriously forming all over the world. But is it so mysterious? There are those that study this phenomena and claim that the circles are being made by aliens wishing to send us messages. These people are called "cereologists” (after Ceres, the Roman goddess of vegetation). They have yet to provide any credible evidence for their claims.

It's pretty self evident though that crop circles are man-made. Joe Nickell has done extensive studies and had the brilliant idea of creating a timeline and graph of all the circles found and documented. The results were telling. After the circles in England were exposed in the media, circles began forming in other parts of the world and followed a predictable pattern. An increase in complexity may sound like something a cereologist would point to as being indicative of intelligent alien life but it's clearly a product of man-made hoaxing and people simply trying to out do one another. New circles proliferated after each media report and conformed to the geographic location of said reports. Plus there have been many hoaxers who have demonstrated how complex circles are made and the best is when cereologists claim certain circles as not possibly being man-made but are later proven wrong as hoaxers come forth with video of them making the formation. The "professionals" clearly do not have any criteria to properly distinguish a "fake" circle from a "real" one. There is also what Nickell calls the "shyness effect" which means that circles are never actually seen being made. Why is this I wonder? Are the aliens shy?

So let's see. What could be causing crop circles? Intelligent beings from a planet outside of our known galaxy who are visiting earth with the intent of imparting some sort of arbitrary message to us hapless earthlings. And apparently the only way they can think of sending us this message is by doodling random pictures in our farmer's fields. Or there are people with too much time on their hands who have decided to have a little laugh and get a little attention by stomping down some wheat with a board. Occam's razor would strongly suggest the latter.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Your Sins are Killing Your Children

"Do you need a healing?" is what the highway sign I passed asked me. Below that was the name Thurman Scrivner and the dates that he would be in town. When I got home I looked up Mr. Scrivner and discovered that he was your run of the mill faith healer. His The Living Savior Ministries website is full of testimonials from those he has "healed". There is a man who had both his legs crushed and a young girl with a severe peanut allergy. But the big one is his granddaughter Katlynn whom I will tell you about later. If you have a lifetime of free time to waste, you could also listen to his over 400 sermons either through the website or by having free DVDs mailed to you. Now I've never been to a healing and so even though I wasn't really in need of one, I thought I would go check it out and see what actually happens at these things. Naturally, I pictured the afflicted people on the stage in a state of rapture having their demons cast out and throwing away their ...

Are You a Targeted Individual?

I shall dedicate my continuing pseudomedical Cracked series to my dear, sweet, sexy man.  5. QuWave Defender It's okay, you can tell me. I'm not going to judge you. I'm here to help. I know you are a targeted individual suffering from electronic harassment, psychotronic, and psychic attacks. You are not alone. There is hope! For over 60 years targeted individuals (TIs) such as yourself have been trying to escape mind control torture. That's right...TORTURE! These mind control torturers use psychotronic weapons just to mess you up. These weapons are designed to leave you feeling stressed out, disoriented, drowsy, helpless, and paranoid. Yes, because THEY have nothing better to do with their time and money except to make you feel like shit. Celebrating 60 years of fucking with your mind The good folks at QuWave have the solution for you! The QuWave Defender uses BOTH scalar and Solfeggio energies to not only thwart those nasty psychic attackers but to also h...

All About Parasites

There are plenty of examples in the world that one could use as mighty fine reasons why intelligent design is a load of bunk. Your appendix, mosquitoes, Honey Boo Boo. Then there are parasites. I can't think of a good reason to create these paragons of ickiness except to give us just one more reason to look up gross things on the Internet to say ew about and make our skin crawl. There are some great ones in the animal kingdom that are just too bat shit crazy for words. An unsuspecting grasshopper could drink some bad water and get himself infected with a horsehair worm which will begin to busily grow inside him (up to a foot long!) until the worm decides he wants out. But he needs to live in water and since grasshoppers aren't fond of swimming the worm simply takes control of the grasshopper's brain, marches him to the nearest body of water, compels him to commit a horrible watery suicide and then casually slithers out of his ass. For real. Out of his ass. The Leococ...