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It's the end of the world as we know it......again and again and again and again......

Not that it's anything new but the whole end of the world thing seems to be popping up a lot more lately. I have already been given invitations to two conferences where the lucky attendees will receive the secrets to surviving the end of the world. Now when they say "survive", I'm quite sure they don't mean in a physical way. I guess they are referring to your soul and which way it will ultimately end up after the death and destruction our all-loving creator will visit upon us. Why I would want to nuzzle myself up in the arms of the mass exterminator, I have no idea, but I'm guessing it's better than the alternative. Although, given the winters around here, I'm not altogether put out by the prospect of an eternity of heat.

There are tons of end of the world scenarios and way too numerous to go into all of them here. I will mention the biggest one, the biblical prophecy which is affectionately known as the end-time. A gentleman by the name of Ronald Weinland has written two tedious books called "2008 - God's Final Witness" and "The Prophesied End Time". Both are generously provided for free. Ronald fancies himself as god's end-time witness and spokesman. Yeah, haven't heard that one before. He confidently states "Billions are prophesied to die! You do not have another decade to prepare yourself! The urgency is now!" Oh dear. Sounds serious. According to Ronald (oops, I mean god) man has been allowed to self rule for the last 6000 years (that is how old the earth is you see). Well, we royally frakked that up and now we have to pay. How did we mess things up so badly you ask? War? Pollution? Murder? Paris Hilton? No. With religion. Yup, you heard right, it seems that almost all the folks in the world are just doing the whole religion thing wrong. They are worshipping the wrong god or performing such atrocities such as celebrating the Passover on the wrong day. While the author seems unaware of the irony of this statement, I laughed heartily for several seconds.

It all revolves around the opening of seals and the sounding of trumpets and other such colorful imagery. There are seven seals to be opened and it seems that the sixth one already has been. We're in trouble folks, run for the hills and repent. When the seventh seal is opened, we have but three and a half years left. There is also talk of seven thunders. These thunders will herald the arrival of two of god's witnesses who will wander around preaching for awhile until they meet their demise in the streets of Jerusalem where their bodies will lie for three and a half days (ewwww) at which point god will call them to heaven.

The thunders so far have been:

1. 9/11 and the following war on terror.
2. The increasing destruction from earthquakes such as the 2004 tsunami.
3. The growing destructiveness from the weather.
4. Global economic upheaval.
5. Death. (?) To confusing with phases and what-not.
6. The growing revelation of god's end-time witnesses.
7. The accelerated revelation of god to man. (blah, blah, blah)

Then that's it. The witnesses preach, die, rot in the street and then Armageddon. God will deliver the ultimate smiting.

What kills me is this guy thinks that what he is preaching is something new and revolutionary. Trust me man, it's been beat to death and quite frankly, it's getting boring. I chose merely one example out of many. I didn't bother searching the Internet for them all but a quick googling of "end of the world predictions" reveals more than I care to muddle through.

You might also want to mark December 21, 2012 on your calendars. This is the day the world will experience cataclysmic and apocalyptic events. This is one even the non-religious can sink their teeth into. It revolves around the Mesoamerican Long Count calendar. This calendar is how the Mayans kept track of the days and years but it only lasts for 5125 days and terminates on December 21 or 23, 2012. There are many interpretations of this end of the world scenario and not all of them end in destruction. Some think it is just the beginning of a new age and new world order. Sounds better than "billions will die!" Other variations include the planet Nibiru smashing into us or that the earth, sun and the galactic equator will come into alignment causing a profound spiritual transition for mankind.

What worries me the most about these people is that if they think the world is going to imminently come to an end then what incentive do they have for keeping the planet safe and healthy for future generations? Troublesome.

The world has been predicted to end many times already. Fortunately for us, the earth has remained blissfully unaware of it's impending doom......much to the dismay of the doomsday prophets.

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Actually, according to Weinland the seventh seal opened back in November and we are well into the end time period with Christ scheduled to return in May of 2012, well before the demise of the world in December.

If you want even more entertainment, visit my web site devoted to this false prophet. There are mansions and Swiss bank accounts. And a Mrs. False Prophet as well.

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