Ah, the bible, that bastion of faith and holiness that the religious cling to and glean comfort from. Bible believing Christians regard both the New and Old Testament as the undiluted word of god, spoken by god and written down in its perfect form by humans. If you type bible into wikipedia you see that it’s pretty complicated. Different religions have different bibles called by different names and each one has numerous translations and versions. I doubt that most folks who believe in god have even read the whole bible. They learn snippets in church and read the lovely cartoon children’s version (mercifully free of cartoon infanticide and other such atrocities) to their offspring. But some people take every word of the bible as truth and claim that it all happened in real life. The earth was created by god in six days along with Adam and Eve. There really was a flood and the animals (including dinosaurs) were saved by Noah on a giant ark. Etc, etc. Even many of the religious people I know think that those people who take the bible literally are kooks. I think they are kooks too but I give kudos to them for taking their faith to the max. I think that they are the only true god fearing believers.
I don’t know how the others can even claim to believe in god as they only take parts of the bible into consideration. They pick and choose which passages sound nice and conform with their morals and lifestyle and discard the parts that are vile or unacceptable to their way of life. Doesn’t this frighten them? God is obviously against working on Sunday or being gay yet religious people still do both. Isn’t going against god’s will a bad thing to do? Just look at what happened to poor Job when he had the gall to ask god why he was being punished for no reason at all. I hereby offer a list of some things that all religious people should start to do to ensure their place in heaven. These laws are handed down by god himself and written down in the bible. You're welcome.
1. Marriage shall consist of a union between one man and one or more women. (Gen 29:17-28; II Sam 3:2-5.) Marriage shall not impede a man's right to take concubines in addition to his wife or wives. (II Sam 5:13; I Kings 11:3; II Chron 11:21)
2. A marriage shall be considered valid only if the wife is a virgin. If the wife is not a virgin, she shall be executed.(Deut 22:13-21) Marriage of a Christian and a pagan shall be forbidden. (Gen 24:3; Num 25:1-9; Ezra 9:12; Neh 10:30)
3. Since marriage is for life, neither this Constitution nor the constitution of any State, nor any state or federal law, shall be construed to permit divorce. (Deut 22:19; Mark 10:9)
4. If a married man dies without children, his brother shall marry the widow. If he refuses to marry his brother's widow or deliberately does not give her children, he shall pay a fine of one shoe and be otherwise punished in a manner to be determined by law. (Gen. 38:6-10; Deut 25:5-10)
5. Each citizen shall have the right to sell his daughter(s) into slavery, setting his own price. (Exodus 21:7)
6. All citizens may own slaves, like in the good old days, both male and female, so long as they're foreigners. (Lev 25:44)
7. Any citizen who finds his neighbor working on Sunday must kill him. (Exodus 35:2)
8. Eating shellfish of any sort must be deemed "an abomination," with penalties set by local law enforcement. (Lev 11:10)
9. Any citizen with poor eyesight and who nevertheless goes to church, shall be guilty of an abomination. (Lev 21:20)
10. Trimming the hair around the temples should be a capital crime. (Lev 19:27)
11. Since touching the skin of a dead pig makes one "unclean," no one can wear gloves made of pigskin. (Lev 11:6-8)
12. Anyone who plants two different crops in a field, who wears garments made of two different fabrics, or who curses or blasphemes, must be stoned to death. (Lev 19:19)
I don’t know how the others can even claim to believe in god as they only take parts of the bible into consideration. They pick and choose which passages sound nice and conform with their morals and lifestyle and discard the parts that are vile or unacceptable to their way of life. Doesn’t this frighten them? God is obviously against working on Sunday or being gay yet religious people still do both. Isn’t going against god’s will a bad thing to do? Just look at what happened to poor Job when he had the gall to ask god why he was being punished for no reason at all. I hereby offer a list of some things that all religious people should start to do to ensure their place in heaven. These laws are handed down by god himself and written down in the bible. You're welcome.
1. Marriage shall consist of a union between one man and one or more women. (Gen 29:17-28; II Sam 3:2-5.) Marriage shall not impede a man's right to take concubines in addition to his wife or wives. (II Sam 5:13; I Kings 11:3; II Chron 11:21)
2. A marriage shall be considered valid only if the wife is a virgin. If the wife is not a virgin, she shall be executed.(Deut 22:13-21) Marriage of a Christian and a pagan shall be forbidden. (Gen 24:3; Num 25:1-9; Ezra 9:12; Neh 10:30)
3. Since marriage is for life, neither this Constitution nor the constitution of any State, nor any state or federal law, shall be construed to permit divorce. (Deut 22:19; Mark 10:9)
4. If a married man dies without children, his brother shall marry the widow. If he refuses to marry his brother's widow or deliberately does not give her children, he shall pay a fine of one shoe and be otherwise punished in a manner to be determined by law. (Gen. 38:6-10; Deut 25:5-10)
5. Each citizen shall have the right to sell his daughter(s) into slavery, setting his own price. (Exodus 21:7)
6. All citizens may own slaves, like in the good old days, both male and female, so long as they're foreigners. (Lev 25:44)
7. Any citizen who finds his neighbor working on Sunday must kill him. (Exodus 35:2)
8. Eating shellfish of any sort must be deemed "an abomination," with penalties set by local law enforcement. (Lev 11:10)
9. Any citizen with poor eyesight and who nevertheless goes to church, shall be guilty of an abomination. (Lev 21:20)
10. Trimming the hair around the temples should be a capital crime. (Lev 19:27)
11. Since touching the skin of a dead pig makes one "unclean," no one can wear gloves made of pigskin. (Lev 11:6-8)
12. Anyone who plants two different crops in a field, who wears garments made of two different fabrics, or who curses or blasphemes, must be stoned to death. (Lev 19:19)
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