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E-mail proof that god is real

What are the three topics you are supposed to avoid discussing with folks you just met? Oh yeah, sex, politics and religion. Well, I’m about to throw one of those out the window, so if you are easily offended, I suggest that you stop reading now.

I recently received a couple of e-mails which I think are meant to scare me into believing in a god. I’m also quite certain that the senders of these e-mails see them in a completely different light than I do. The first one I deleted in disgust so I will try to remember as much as I can. This was a PowerPoint presentation that started with informing me that god takes care of us even when we don’t know it. It explained that some of the people who survived 9-11 did so because they were delayed that day for some mundane reason such as being stuck in traffic, stopping at a pharmacy for some band-aids, their kid forgot lunch for school, etc. I guess this is proof that god was looking out for these people. This makes me angry. How pretentious. That completely devalues the lives of those who did perish on that day. What makes the lives of the survivors any more special. To me it just shows all the more how random and unpredictable life is. The presentation then went on to show other ways that god looks out for us, I don’t remember all the examples but the one that made me livid went something like: “Did you ever see a coupon in the paper for something you’ve been wanting for a long time?” Well that is of course god’s way of helping me out. Really? So all the little children being used as sex slaves around the world don’t need any help but Tamara just has to have those shoes she’s been eyeing up!

The next e-mail warns that mocking god can lead to untimely death. Some examples used are John Lennon, Marilyn Munroe and "the guy who built the Titanic". (Yeah, apparently one guy built the whole thing himself??) So these people mocked god in one way or another and died before their time. So this god kills people for making simple statements such as John Lennon saying that the Beatles are more famous then Jesus (14 years later I might add) but is perfectly fine with letting rapists and murderers life long, happy lives? The Titanic example is just absurd. There is no name given for "the guy" who said that even god could not sink the Titanic so we don't know what happened to him but we do know what happened to the Titanic. A fellow JREF forumite put it well when he proposed this little prayer that "the guy" would perhaps offer after being proven wrong.

"Gee, God. You were right. You could sink the ship I build. How stupid of me to question your powers. Thank you for showing me the errors of my ways and killing a couple of thousand people in the process. Won't do it again, lest you give me lung cancer or wait another 14 years before sending a maniac to shoot me dead. Amen."

And I’m now supposed to worship this spiteful, petty bully? No thanks, you can have him. Oops, did I just say that out loud? I guess I'd better make sure my will is in order.

I’m quite certain that god doesn’t have internet either. Since his almightiness obviously hasn’t heard of The Blasphemy Challenge. If he did, the death rate would no doubt spike dramatically.

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