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What if you're wrong?

There’s one question that every non-religious person has been asked by a religious person at least once. “What if you’re wrong?” They are of course referring to the horrible implications for your afterlife and the dreaded fate that will await you there due to your lack of belief in their sky daddy.

First of all I like to have some fun with them and say “what if you’re wrong?”

They will usually answer with, “well, then nothing will happen if there is nothing there, so it’s no big deal if I’m wrong.”

I’ll say, “no, no, that’s not what I mean. I mean what if you die and you find yourself face to face with Zeus? Boy will he ever be pissed!”

I mean that tongue in cheek of course. I believe in Zeus just as much as I believe in God or the tooth fairy. It’s fun to throw a wrench in their system though.

But seriously, If there is a heaven and an all-loving god like I’m told then I would like to think that being a kind, moral, helpful, all around decent person would be enough to get a person entrance to the land of angels. If that’s not enough and the only thing barring my admittance is that I didn’t believe in that god then I would find that god to be a petty, egotistical, whiny brat on a power trip.

Let’s say an atheist dies (his name is Ernest) and finds out that he “was wrong” and he is now standing in front of the pearly gates with God glaring down on him. I imagine the exchange would go something like this:

Ernest: “Oh dear, I guess I was wrong.”

God: “ Yes my son and boy am I pissed.”

Ernest: “ Well, I’m sorry about that but if you had perhaps given me some reason to believe in you then things would have been different.”

God: “It doesn’t matter now. This is the final judgment and I’m sending your heathen ass to hell.”

Ernest: “But God, I’ve done my very best to be a good person while I was alive.”

God: “So you saved four orphans and a kitten from a burning building, cured cancer and found a solution to world hunger. Big deal, don’t you know it’s all about ME. You didn’t go to church once to bask in MY glory . You never said a single prayer to YOUR ONLY GOD. Not once did you acknowledge the awesomeness and power that is ME. ME. ME. ME. I AM ME! Damn you! Off to hell with you!”

I guess I should start believing immediately or I’ll be royally frakked.

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